I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
