Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
