i think my tv is drunk
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
