she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Randomize