I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Just high enough for therapy.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You are a genius and a whore.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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