My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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