And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
