Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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