Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
