Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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