Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
