He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
