No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
