They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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