my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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