wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
