I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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