I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
