well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
