if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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