I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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