i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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