So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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