Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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