Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
she pinky promised me she was 18
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
