He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
