just come out here and I will go home with you...
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize