I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
