The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
