gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Please, let me fuck your mom
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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