whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
