Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
