just tell him i said nine months
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize