she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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