Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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