Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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