Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
As shirtless as possible
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
wow bdsm is so cute
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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