you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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