I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize