It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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