saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
