Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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