Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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