i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
