The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
