he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
