I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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