she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
