the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I checked into jail on foursquare
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
