I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
