Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
