i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
