does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
