someone get that fucking seahorse.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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