chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
