This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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