all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
