So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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