I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Randomize
