VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
