Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
